My New Philosophy on Potty Training

One of my friends was kind enough to allow me to share this story of her daughter's potty experience. First, we exchanged these text messages at the beginning of this week:

Plus, she just informed me via Facebook messenger that the "last 3 poops have been on the potty w/o being told to. She tells me when she needs to go or sometimes goes by herself. At the ultrasound (they are expecting their second) she told (her daddy) she needed to go, but they didn't make it in time. I'm quite impressed with her. A month ago I thought she would never get it. It's been 4 days and she's doing great."

I don't know how many stories like this I have heard from parents. They all tell me of their several failed attempts at "potty training". Then suddenly their kid gets it like it was not even their parents choice of when or sometimes how... it just clicks.

I would also like to say in my quest for potty training advice. I have rarely heard of any parents with real success with the structured timed potty training. I have always wondered if the few success stories with this technique is one of those times where they just happened to line up their potty training attempt with their child's ability, need, and want to use the potty perfectly.

Okay, so my new philosophy on potty training is I am not going to do it!!!! No more timers, stress, pressure, or high expectations! When my girls need or want to go potty they can tell me or just go by themselves. Yes, I wish my girls (either one at this point is fine with me) would just have it click in, but I can't force them to use the potty or to understand when they need to go potty.

Good bye timer!

Hello lots of pairs of undies and skirts!

This new approach has been especially hard for me to decide to take with Liberty who turns 3 this next month and starts preschool. I always told myself she would be potty trained before 3 and especially before school. However, as a parent I am realizing more and more that expectations of what you think your child will or will not do does not always match up with what your child will or will not do and when they will or will not do it. Plus, it has also been very difficult for me to try this new approach with Liberty, since her verbal capabilities are far enough behind that getting her to tell me when she needs to go to the potty is an ordeal in itself. We had a glimmer of success this last day of undies. She actually said "pot" for potty and is beginning to understand that is where pee and poo goes! Plus, she had a frantic moment where she said "pot pot pot" over and over again and we rushed to the potty. She didn't go potty then, but it helped me realize that she may be starting to recognize the cues her body gives her that she needs to go.

Starting tomorrow I am going to be more consistent with Libby being in undies most mornings and if she runs out of clean ones she will go right back into diapers. It may be a mess for me, but I think this approach will have a greater impact and be more effective with her.

I would like to end this rant with a quote about getting children to use the potty from my wise friend mentioned at the beginning of this post, "It's our job to teach it and introduce it. But shouldn't be pushed to stress them."