My Heart Aches- OWAS Closure

Image courtesy of samuiblue/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This last Wednesday (6/25/14) we were informed that our adoption agency is closing today Monday the 30th of July. I mean really closing like going out of business closing!!!! The Council of Accreditation (COA) has suspended One World Adoption Services’ (OWAS) Hague Accreditation for 90 days based on four complaints made in 2012 and 2013.

“Adverse Action: 90-Day Suspension and Corrective Action Required, effective 6.25.2014 This adverse action was also taken in response to other complaints that were simultaneously investigated and substantiated.” (Substantiated Complaints and Adverse Actions)

I wish I would have known about the Council of Accreditation when I was first starting the adoption process. Then I would have known about the complaints filed against OWAS when we first began our process. I found the Substantiated Complaints and Adverse Actions file very helpful to provide information on the different complaints filed against OWAS and all agencies.

Here are some of the highlights of the complaints on OWAS from the COA Substantiated Complaints and Adverse Actions filed:

“The agency represented to a prospective adoptive family that the children they were referred were eligible for intercountry adoption. However, prior to the referral, the agency failed to obtain official documentation evidencing a birthparent’s relinquishment or abandonment or documentation that the guardian had legal custody and could relinquish the children for adoption. The agency’s failure to obtain the proper relinquishment documentation prior to the referral constitutes egregious unethical conduct and is not in the best interests of children.” This came up in a few complaints.

“The agency’s procedures indicate that there is an expediting fee between $300-$500. However,
no official fees or procedures to expedite cases are authorized under Congolese law. Representing that such official fees exist is false and payment may constitute a bribe payable to a government official. This constitutes egregious unethical conduct.” This came up in several complaints.

“An agency employee forwarded a prospective adoptive parent a request from the agency’s incountry attorney to send $2000 in order to motivate public officials to act on the complainant’s behalf acknowledging that it was common in the Democratic Republic of Congo to pay to get anything done. Forwarding the request for money and condoning payment of money to bring about a likely favorable outcome constitutes egregious unethical conduct.”

It is a shame that unethical behavior seems to be a normal thing in the Democratic Republic of Congo and with some agencies.

I don't know what this will do to our adoption. At this time we have contacted five agencies and emailed COA in hoping to receive assistance in transferring our case. One agency wasn’t accepting applicants, two never returned our phone call, one seems way too expensive, and the last has yet to make a decision on whether or not we will be accepted into their program. I would have contacted more agencies except the majority of agencies are not accepting new applicants for the DRC program due to the suspension. COA said they would be contacting me in the next couple weeks, but seeing as I only had four business days to figure out where to send our file I don’t think that will be too helpful. I did make a decision today to transfer our case files to the agency that has not yet made a decision on whether or not to work with us. They were kind enough to allow me to do that even if they have yet to make a decision on taking on our case. I am hoping they do choose to help us finish our adoption. Especially, since I did my COA research this time on the potential new agency.


My heart has been aching since the closure announcement. I was frightened that we would lose our son in the shuffle of changing agencies. Now that we have contact information for our lawyer in DRC I feel less frightened than I did before. Yet now I have a new fear that proper paperwork was not filed or received on his relinquishment. Throughout our whole adoption process I have felt as though God has given us the opportunity and guidance into having a child join our family through adoption. At this moment though I fell lost, saddened, afraid, and angry like maybe I really have no clue what God really wants me to do. I guess I will keep praying for his guidance and try my best to not let my fear, pride, or anger get in the way of hearing his answer/call.

Nature Walk, Sandwiches, and Shirts for Our Family Reunion

Please forgive my unorganized thoughts and rambling. This is a late night post, and I have been trying to give up coffee. Which may I add is NOT as easy as I thought it would be. Plus I am blogging from my phone which I never do. 

Anyways, tonight we went out as a family on a nature walk. I always feel such peace and calm out in nature. At points I would forget that we were in the middle of a bustling city. I felt so thankful for our family, health, home, food, and work. Life can be overwhelming sometimes, but it is comforting to know that we are doing well in life. Also, prayerful of our boy's safe arrival into our home. The girls loved it of course which was an added bonus! I laughed several times at my silly husband and overly excited girls. It was a wonderful time.




After that we headed out to get some dinner and buy some shirts for our huge family photo next week! I am so excited about the reunion coming up!!!!




We ended our night with this sunset that sadly my camera phone does not do justice. It looked like the sky was on fire! What a gorgeous sky! Goodnight everyone.





Speech Therapy For Liberty

Jason and I have been pretty concerned about Liberty's speech development since about the time she turned 2 and only said a handful of words. After battling with our doctor for 6 months we finally received a referral to a speech evaluation clinic. Then after finding out our insurance didn't cover the place we were referred to we searched for a free evaluation. Finally, we got in to a have Liberty receive a speech evaluation. We went to the speech evaluation and they referred us to a local government run program with no results given as to whether or not she needed speech therapy. Finally last month, 8 months after we finally started to show concern about her speech, we found out through a detailed general evaluation through the local government run program that she is 40% delayed in speech development, but not significantly delayed in any other areas. This may sound weird, but I was excited to FINALLY have clarification on where she was behind. At that time it was recommended she start speech therapy, and then when she turns 3 and ages out of the current program she will start preschool. The speech therapy until she turns 3 is done in our home which is very nice, and at the preschool a speech therapist will work with her a couple days a week.

This last week she finally started speech therapy!!!! It is a 45 minute session once a week where she comes to our home and teaches Jason and myself how to teach Liberty to say more words. The first week the speech pathologist worked with us on saying and repeating single words. The week leading up to yesterday's appointment I realized I already do that quite a bit in our day to day life, but when I actually sit and spend time focusing on a handful of words she learns faster. 

Yesterday the speech pathologist told us to NOT use questions or commands and instead say statements. If I do use questions I am supposed to give choices. This is to take off pressure of her communication load. At first I was like yeah no problem, but after one day I realized I ask questions to my girls ALL THE TIME! 

I specifically noticed this while driving yesterday after the appointment. During driving I frequently talk with my girls about what they are going to do when we get home, since Madison is really not the most patient car riding child. It struck me that I mostly ask questions like "What are we going to do when we get home?" "Do you want to play with blocks?". Instead after one question I corrected myself by saying, "I think we should play with blocks when we get home.". Liberty responded, "blocks". This got me really excited, since I rarely have "conversations" with Liberty. I then said, "I think we should get the block table out." She again said, "blocks". Then I added, "I think we should get the chairs out when we get home." She then said, "chairs". I was AMAZED at how she was actually trying to have a conversation with me. 

I have noticed a huge verbal improvement with Liberty over the last couple of weeks, and I look forward to hearing even more! 

Another thing the Speech-Language Pathologist told us was to get a vibrating toothbrush. I think for muscle and sensory stimulation, but I don't really remember.

She was excited!

I was not surprised though. She loves brushing her teeth!

My Clean Madison

Anyone who knows Jason or myself knows that we are incredibly clean people. We can't just leave dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, and toys not picked up, so Madison's new favorite thing is picking up trash when we are out of the house. While we are out I have to watch her like a hawk, since she will just take off after a piece of paper or trash in the wind with little thought about her safety. At times it can be exhausting, but I am a very proud of her clean streak. It is so cute whenever a piece of trash flies out of her reach she says in a frantic voice, "awe paper" (which is what she calls trash sometimes). Then I just have to say all gone or bye bye and she will move onto another piece of trash. It cracks me up how active and talkative my baby girl can be!






Older Kids Give Me a Break

This last week the girls' older cousins were visiting for a few days. They did so well at taking care of my girls. It surprised me at how little work taking care of children that age can be. I was worried I wouldn't be able to provide fun things for them to do, since they are 8 and 10 and my girls are 1 and 2. My sister informed me that they keep telling her I am the best Aunt ever, so I guess I must have been kind of fun. :-)

Their time here was like a mini vacation for me! Whenever one of the little girls would cry or fuss the big cousins were there to try and cheer them up and play with them. Plus, it is amazing what great helpers they were with everything else!!!!

Another thing that totally baffled me was being able to tell them to eat, shower, get dressed for the day, and clean up. I am sure all the parents out there with older kids are thinking that children that are 8 and 10 should be able to do all of those things, but for a mommy with two girls ages 2 and 1 it is really something to be amazed about!!!!

Anyways while they were here:

The gamer kids played Wii.

These cute girls had a tea party. 

We went to the playground.



After the little girls went to bed we roasted smores'!









The girls played dress up.



We went to another park!



They read books...

...and napped.

Then we had tons of fun at the drive in!!!!





The girls and I were sad when we had to take them home, because we just had too much fun!!!!









Adoption Is A Journey

journey
Adoption is a journey. 

Like any journey, it's appropriate to think ahead, to plan and to prepare for what is come. Along the way we'll realize that it isn't all what we may have thought or expected. There are unplanned events and struggles, along with unexpected joys and surprises.

Join us as we walk down a few different paths of the adoption journey and discuss some key resources as you look ahead in preparation of bringing a child into your forever family.

Many of you may have already walked this journey. Some of seen friends or close family struggle through the path. Maybe you are just starting to "pack your bag" for your first adoption. No matter the traveler or the progress, here are a few helpful tidbits for anyone who is considering adoption (for the first, second or third time!).

3 Ways to Prepare for the Journey...

  1. Pray. Fast. Read. Most importantly, seek God's direction and plan for your family. Spend significant time praying, fasting and reading His Word together for guidance, wisdom and peace. God does not call everyone to adopt, but He may be calling your family to be involved in caring for the orphan in some way. Sit and listen to the Father, He will prepare your feet for the path He has for you (Psalm 18:33).

  2. Educate Yourself (With Trusted Materials). With some of the best Christian material on adoption, Empowered to Connect provides books, videos, trainings and other resources to help foster and adoptive families parent children from hard places. Prepare and receive realistic expectations ahead of time by reading books like The Connected Child or attending an Empowered to Connect Conference.  See resources & upcoming Empowered to Connect Conferences >>

  3. Take a Pre-Adoption Assessment. Striving to make the adoption process less complicated and overwhelming, our friends at Loving Shepherd Ministries have helped guide over 6,000 couples in their early stages of adoption. Through their Adoption Assessment Form, their staff gives your family adoption options you are eligible to pursue, along with lists of agencies, home study providers in your area and more! Best yet, they offer this as a free service to prospective adoptive families. Learn more & fill out their Adoption Assessment Form today >>

  4. There is wisdom in preparation, but don't forget to keep in mind that we have a Father who knows the beginning and the end. An Almighty God who is writing and arranging your family's story behind the scenes. When things don't make sense, wait on Him. His way is always best!